Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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