he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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