I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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