Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
