omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
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i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
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Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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