Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
it was like having sex with a tree stump
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Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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