so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
