so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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