I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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