She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
