They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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