My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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