you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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