Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize