You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?