woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
