i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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