I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize