well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize