Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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