If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
