I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm too high and old for this...
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