can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
