So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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