Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
