Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
