Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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