burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
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