Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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