it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
These tits shall not be calmed
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