i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
