If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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