Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
