I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize