Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Randomize
