Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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