where am i from again
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
