you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
