He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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