I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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