Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
