Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
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Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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