STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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