yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
