I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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