whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
