Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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