I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
