If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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