I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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