fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
