A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
well you can't waste a boner
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
