I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize