the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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