Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
