hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
No subtext here. People are naked.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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