so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
