just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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