I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
