Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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