The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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