I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
